This last week has been absolute shit

chronicallyjessica:

When someone says you can’t just stay in bed all day because it will make your condition worse

[ID: Gif of a man with a blanket over his head looking up and scowling.]

This has been me the last week

I have these moments where I’m so fed up with my pain, my limitations, my health in general, and the severe lack of support that the health system offers, that I almost, ALMOST, wish that I wasn’t here anymore. at this point though I’m just filled with so much frustration.

This shit has been going on for so long, and no one can really help. There isn’t actually a doctor for this shit, at least not one that’s willing to see me.

I have moments where I just kind of give up. On the health system, my body, and myself. But what can I do?

The only thing I can do is educate myself on all this medical crap, and become my own expert. I mean it’s not like I can work or go to school so I need something to occupy my time. So why not? Why not become the paitent every doctor hates because I know my shit and I know more about my shit then they do. Why the fuck not?!

Every time I think I won’t make it,

I leave the city and head outside,

That simple action,

Makes everything better,

When everything seems like it will end,

Nature helps me bring it back to life again

chronicallyjessica:

A spoonie’s medical files

spooniestrong:

petiotte:

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

My wish for all of my SpoonieStrong family 💙

Today fucking sucked. I had my upper endoscopy and colonoscopy today, which means that the had to do bowel prep last night.

The first prep (colyte) did not go well. Recently the nausea has been so bad, I’ve hardly been eating, therefore my stomach has shrunken. And with this prep you have 2 hours to drink 2+liters of liquids. So basically an hour in I puked up one liter of fluids.

So because of this I had to go to the pharmacy, at 9pm to get a different kind of prep and basically start all over.

So this morning I went to the hospital and everything was going well, until they had to place the IV. Three veins burst, with the IV in them, before we finally got one placed in my wrist. (The wash for the IV hurts like hell when it’s no longer in a vein).

So I’m whisked into the room, where they promptly drug me and shove a tube down my throat,(it’s as bad as it sounds), then they do the colonoscopy.

One hour, 6 biopsies, and no IV later, everything seems normal and the doc is telling me it’s just my anxiety…….FML😭😡🤬

superevilart:

if you have ever suffered from…  

• depression 

• anxiety 

• eating disorder 

• self-harm

• ocd 

• bipolar 

• feelings of guilt and hopelessness 

• suicidal thoughts 

can you please reblog to show support for people who also suffer. you are not alone.